Dear Coworker,
I would like to formally congratulate you on your tremendous effort to enforce the rules. Few people are as willing as you to snap at the first person who sits where they're not supposed to, use the wrong computer, or place plates asymmetrically on a tray. While others carelessly sit inches away from where they're technically supposed to, you make sure that no one does such scandalous things on your watch.
Do not be confused. Some people may think you're completely obnoxious. But what do they know? I mean, I think it's completely appropriate to scream at people from forty feet away for things that others wouldn't think even merited a reaction. But no--not you. You make sure your work environment is rule-abiding and fun-free.
Again, congratulations. You've earned your spot as the bane of my existence and for that, I salute you.
With warmest wishes,
Sean
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