Dear Restaurant-goers,
Recent economic hardship has devastated many of us. While I certainly can relate to this, I dearly hope that you can understand one simple request, which is that leaving a (preferably good) tip is not an option, but rather a requirement. You see, leaving at least 15% should be no more "optional" to you than the $14 you spend on your shrimp pasta. While I understand that you can get away with not leaving a tip more readily than you can, say, not paying your check, people's livelihoods rely on your generosity.
I'm not asking for a lot here. However, when you remember that restaurant workers usually make about $3/hour, it makes sense that if you're hurt by economic recession, so is the person serving your fajitas. If that is the case, perhaps you ought to tip them well. After all, they control your food during your next dining experience.
Remember, a little goes a long way. Thank you in advance for your time,
Sean
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Hilarious
Per usual, boredom leads me to The Onion, where I found this hilarious article. It was especially funny to me given that my Digital Technologies class is meeting at Winston-Salem's newest Indian restaurant on Tuesday. This is appropriate since many of the conversations I've had with classmates about this outing indicate that some of my colleagues might be like "Grandma."
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Dear Coworker
Dear Coworker,
I would like to formally congratulate you on your tremendous effort to enforce the rules. Few people are as willing as you to snap at the first person who sits where they're not supposed to, use the wrong computer, or place plates asymmetrically on a tray. While others carelessly sit inches away from where they're technically supposed to, you make sure that no one does such scandalous things on your watch.
Do not be confused. Some people may think you're completely obnoxious. But what do they know? I mean, I think it's completely appropriate to scream at people from forty feet away for things that others wouldn't think even merited a reaction. But no--not you. You make sure your work environment is rule-abiding and fun-free.
Again, congratulations. You've earned your spot as the bane of my existence and for that, I salute you.
With warmest wishes,
Sean
I would like to formally congratulate you on your tremendous effort to enforce the rules. Few people are as willing as you to snap at the first person who sits where they're not supposed to, use the wrong computer, or place plates asymmetrically on a tray. While others carelessly sit inches away from where they're technically supposed to, you make sure that no one does such scandalous things on your watch.
Do not be confused. Some people may think you're completely obnoxious. But what do they know? I mean, I think it's completely appropriate to scream at people from forty feet away for things that others wouldn't think even merited a reaction. But no--not you. You make sure your work environment is rule-abiding and fun-free.
Again, congratulations. You've earned your spot as the bane of my existence and for that, I salute you.
With warmest wishes,
Sean
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Obama: The most liberal Senator around?
This morning I was thinking about how obnoxious claims by the media are about how "liberal" Barack Obama is. These conversations have been going on for months and have not been confined to Obama-- apparently, Hillary and Barack are both the most liberal Senators. Since his nomination, though, Obama has been the topic of many pundits' ramblings since he's way too to-the-left for this country to possibly survive with him as president.
Luckily, I stumbled up this blog from the Daily Kos. I can't link specifically to the blog, so you'll just have to go here: http://www.dailykos.com/. Look for post titled "The Final Battle. Now with Deflowered Virgins." It sums up very well exactly how I feel on the issue (and really gets at why American news media is just plain absurd).
Luckily, I stumbled up this blog from the Daily Kos. I can't link specifically to the blog, so you'll just have to go here: http://www.dailykos.com/. Look for post titled "The Final Battle. Now with Deflowered Virgins." It sums up very well exactly how I feel on the issue (and really gets at why American news media is just plain absurd).
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Dear TBS
Dear TBS,
As you may know, Digital Video Recorders (DVRs) are making it difficult for your network to sell advertising spots because fewer viewers are seeing those 30-second spots. While once you only had to compete with the bathroom, now you have to compete with the fact that people can fast forward through your commercials.
As you may also be aware, your programming is, for the most part, terrible. It seems every time you come up with an original series, it flops. Perhaps your writers suck. Perhaps you even come up with good shows, but the reputation of your network precedes your shows. In any case, I only watch that programming on your network which is really just syndicated reruns of shows that are actually good; shows like The Office and Family Guy.
Here's my beef: WHY THE HELL do you need to keep putting ads for "The Bill Engvall Show" INSIDE the shows. Why is it that this so-called comedian has to "pause" my show so that he can blab about his own show. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I know you're looking to use this as a trial run to show corporate sponsors that you've found a way around the DVR problem, but this is SO obnoxious that most corporate sponsors would even be unwilling to piss audiences off in that manner.
Since I understand your predicament, I've thought of a few suggestions. First, get better shows. That way, enough people without DVRs will be watching so that advertisers will want to purchase ad spots. That would also mean that if you INSIST on continuing these "pop-up commercials," I would be seeing ads for things that are actually worth my time. Second, make these ads smaller. If you're going to use the space at the bottom of the screen, don't take up half my television viewing space. My TV is small enough as it is! Third, make these ads silent. In the same fashion that you let viewers know about 2009's shift to digital broadcasting on cable with a scrolling ticker, you could also let them know about Insert X Awful Show Here with a small (but legible) scrolling ad. Finally, if all of the above fails, make several of these pop-up ads air back-to-back. That way, in the same way that I can fast forward through commercials, I can also fast forward through these stupid things. I know you're going to say-- you're thinking that would defeat the purpose entirely. And you know what I'm thinking? Exactly.
Best,
Sean
As you may know, Digital Video Recorders (DVRs) are making it difficult for your network to sell advertising spots because fewer viewers are seeing those 30-second spots. While once you only had to compete with the bathroom, now you have to compete with the fact that people can fast forward through your commercials.
As you may also be aware, your programming is, for the most part, terrible. It seems every time you come up with an original series, it flops. Perhaps your writers suck. Perhaps you even come up with good shows, but the reputation of your network precedes your shows. In any case, I only watch that programming on your network which is really just syndicated reruns of shows that are actually good; shows like The Office and Family Guy.
Here's my beef: WHY THE HELL do you need to keep putting ads for "The Bill Engvall Show" INSIDE the shows. Why is it that this so-called comedian has to "pause" my show so that he can blab about his own show. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I know you're looking to use this as a trial run to show corporate sponsors that you've found a way around the DVR problem, but this is SO obnoxious that most corporate sponsors would even be unwilling to piss audiences off in that manner.
Since I understand your predicament, I've thought of a few suggestions. First, get better shows. That way, enough people without DVRs will be watching so that advertisers will want to purchase ad spots. That would also mean that if you INSIST on continuing these "pop-up commercials," I would be seeing ads for things that are actually worth my time. Second, make these ads smaller. If you're going to use the space at the bottom of the screen, don't take up half my television viewing space. My TV is small enough as it is! Third, make these ads silent. In the same fashion that you let viewers know about 2009's shift to digital broadcasting on cable with a scrolling ticker, you could also let them know about Insert X Awful Show Here with a small (but legible) scrolling ad. Finally, if all of the above fails, make several of these pop-up ads air back-to-back. That way, in the same way that I can fast forward through commercials, I can also fast forward through these stupid things. I know you're going to say-- you're thinking that would defeat the purpose entirely. And you know what I'm thinking? Exactly.
Best,
Sean
Dear Republicans
Dear Republicans,
Please learn how to read. For that matter, please also learn how to write.
kthxbye.
Please learn how to read. For that matter, please also learn how to write.
kthxbye.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Dear Neighbor Lady
Dear Neighbor Lady in Apartment A,
My dog is not going to attack you, eat you, urinate on you, lick you, hump you, bite you, or otherwise serve as a detriment to your well-being. These things have never happened, so please stop screaming every time I go out my door (especially when the dog is not even with me).
Before I met you, some friends of mine told me they screamed at you and told them to get my dog off of you. They thought this was particularly interesting since they were at the bottom of the stairs and you were at the top. I thought this was odd, but then I witnessed it myself when I was walking down the stairs and I saw you open your door, notice the dog, shriek, and slam the door.
It's okay to be afraid of dogs. However, it is not okay to scream when the dog is 40 feet away and doesn't even know you're there. In fact, all you're doing is making him aware of your presence. Not that that really matters since he'd never go near you anyway, but nonetheless it's still annoying.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
With Regards,
Sean
P.S. I always know if you've been in or out within the 30 or so minutes prior to my arrival home because your perfume lingers. Less is more, ma'am.
My dog is not going to attack you, eat you, urinate on you, lick you, hump you, bite you, or otherwise serve as a detriment to your well-being. These things have never happened, so please stop screaming every time I go out my door (especially when the dog is not even with me).
Before I met you, some friends of mine told me they screamed at you and told them to get my dog off of you. They thought this was particularly interesting since they were at the bottom of the stairs and you were at the top. I thought this was odd, but then I witnessed it myself when I was walking down the stairs and I saw you open your door, notice the dog, shriek, and slam the door.
It's okay to be afraid of dogs. However, it is not okay to scream when the dog is 40 feet away and doesn't even know you're there. In fact, all you're doing is making him aware of your presence. Not that that really matters since he'd never go near you anyway, but nonetheless it's still annoying.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
With Regards,
Sean
P.S. I always know if you've been in or out within the 30 or so minutes prior to my arrival home because your perfume lingers. Less is more, ma'am.
Dear US Airways
Dear US Airways,
You suck. While I doubt this is news to you, you nevertheless suck. While I think you suck, I may think your Dividend Miles program may suck even more. Here's why:
Because I don't live near a major hub, I have to use whatever airline is cheapest. That means that while I fly ALL THE TIME, I STILL do not have enough miles on one airline to qualify for reward travel. Luckily, I am within 1,000 miles of the 25,000 mile mark that Dividend Miles requires for a free ticket. However, the word "free" is misleading. In fact, to book this ticket, I would end up spending more money than I would if I were to just purchase the thing outright. "Samantha" says that because I'm not quite to 25,000 miles, I can purchase another thousand for $35. This sounds lovely, except for the fact that on top of the $35, there is a $35 processing fee whenever you purchase miles. Then, when I actually book the travel, I need to pay a $35 booking fee plus $10-15 in taxes. I knew the taxes would have to be paid, but the booking fee is ridiculous given that I would do it online and NO ONE would have to process the travel but me.
All in all, this comes out to be $115. Now, you're probably thinking $115 round trip all the way to San Diego sounds like a good deal? If that were the case, I'd be impressed, too, US Airways. Instead, that is for a ONE WAY TICKET. Therefore, I'd have to purchase another one-way ticket which, as it turns out, is itself more expensive than a round-trip ticket. All in all, I can travel round trip from Carolina to California for $347 if I use my Dividend Miles. The price if I don't use your stupid program--$260.
Darn you, US Airways! I hope your 2nd-quarter profits continue to suffer! Oh, and did I mention you suck?
Love always,
Sean
You suck. While I doubt this is news to you, you nevertheless suck. While I think you suck, I may think your Dividend Miles program may suck even more. Here's why:
Because I don't live near a major hub, I have to use whatever airline is cheapest. That means that while I fly ALL THE TIME, I STILL do not have enough miles on one airline to qualify for reward travel. Luckily, I am within 1,000 miles of the 25,000 mile mark that Dividend Miles requires for a free ticket. However, the word "free" is misleading. In fact, to book this ticket, I would end up spending more money than I would if I were to just purchase the thing outright. "Samantha" says that because I'm not quite to 25,000 miles, I can purchase another thousand for $35. This sounds lovely, except for the fact that on top of the $35, there is a $35 processing fee whenever you purchase miles. Then, when I actually book the travel, I need to pay a $35 booking fee plus $10-15 in taxes. I knew the taxes would have to be paid, but the booking fee is ridiculous given that I would do it online and NO ONE would have to process the travel but me.
All in all, this comes out to be $115. Now, you're probably thinking $115 round trip all the way to San Diego sounds like a good deal? If that were the case, I'd be impressed, too, US Airways. Instead, that is for a ONE WAY TICKET. Therefore, I'd have to purchase another one-way ticket which, as it turns out, is itself more expensive than a round-trip ticket. All in all, I can travel round trip from Carolina to California for $347 if I use my Dividend Miles. The price if I don't use your stupid program--$260.
Darn you, US Airways! I hope your 2nd-quarter profits continue to suffer! Oh, and did I mention you suck?
Love always,
Sean
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Introduction
This semester, I am taking a class on digital technologies and I am especially interested in the reasons why people create the cybernetic identities they create. While I won't rant on about this, one area of particular interest for me has been blogging. A great deal of research asks why people blog, and most of that research suggests that people do it because it provides them a venue to have a voice. While thinking about this, I ultimately decided that I have a voice and thus blogging wouldn't make a great deal of sense. However, there are a ton of moments where I feel like saying something (sometimes to someone, but usually to a group of people) that I don't have the guts to actually lay out there.
Hence why I am starting this project. My goal is to use this space to vent by writing "letters." These letters are things I wish I had the nerve to send, but never will because I'm just not quite that kind of person. My next post will be a good example, but I reserve the right to have this space take on different formats. In most cases, though, this will be a space for me to vent (for my own purposes, and also for those who have struggles similar to mine). Sometimes I think blogs are pointless. Sometimes, though, I think they're very well done (check out my friend Danielle's blog at http://condensations.blogspot.com for a good example). Hopefully, this will fall into the later category. In any case, perhaps this will help me better understand why it is that people share with entirely unknown online communities that which they may not share on the phone with a close friend.
Hence why I am starting this project. My goal is to use this space to vent by writing "letters." These letters are things I wish I had the nerve to send, but never will because I'm just not quite that kind of person. My next post will be a good example, but I reserve the right to have this space take on different formats. In most cases, though, this will be a space for me to vent (for my own purposes, and also for those who have struggles similar to mine). Sometimes I think blogs are pointless. Sometimes, though, I think they're very well done (check out my friend Danielle's blog at http://condensations.blogspot.com for a good example). Hopefully, this will fall into the later category. In any case, perhaps this will help me better understand why it is that people share with entirely unknown online communities that which they may not share on the phone with a close friend.
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