Dear McCain Campaign,

I know that things are rough for you. Perhaps it's because you picked Sarah Palin who is completely worthless and who is only serving her own interests for her future political career. Maybe it's because Obama has gained unexpected momentum and you let your guard down. I'm sure there are several reasons, but let me offer an alternative explanation: your mailer targeting software.

I have reason to believe your software isn't working. My evidence for this claim is that I have received, every business day for the past two weeks, brochures talking about Obama's poor health care plan, his associations with terrorists, and his inexperience as a leader. While I won't even address why these claims are false, I will mention that for every one of these ads you send me, you are wasting valuable campaign dollars. This is especially problematic when, in terms of the last two weeks of an election cycle, you are practically bankrupt.

Here's my question: how on earth could you have pegged me as a swing voter? Nothing about me suggest I might vote for you. In fact, in the past two months, you've shown me that not voting at all would be better than voting for you (perhaps I need to think Bob Barr). Given that the chances of me voting for you are about as high as Sarah Palin being able to do anything worthwhile in her lifetime, I would stop wasting your time.

Short version: the software you use to decide where advertising ought to be targeted is failing you. That, or you're just not using it. In either case, I'd make wiser choices while you still have any shred of a hope left in these next 14 days.

Love always,

Sean