Buying an External Hard Drive

Today I am confronted with the task of buying an external hard drive. I would like to put it off some more, buy my hard drive is for real full now and I can't even save a Word document. I've done a bit of online shopping and it looks like I'll spend about $90 for a half-terrabyte or a little under. Does this seem reasonable?

I realize that $90-ish isn't all that expensive. However, when you're poor, it makes a huge difference. I hate buying things that I feel like I don't need when in fact I really do need them.

Dear McCain Campaign,

I know that things are rough for you. Perhaps it's because you picked Sarah Palin who is completely worthless and who is only serving her own interests for her future political career. Maybe it's because Obama has gained unexpected momentum and you let your guard down. I'm sure there are several reasons, but let me offer an alternative explanation: your mailer targeting software.

I have reason to believe your software isn't working. My evidence for this claim is that I have received, every business day for the past two weeks, brochures talking about Obama's poor health care plan, his associations with terrorists, and his inexperience as a leader. While I won't even address why these claims are false, I will mention that for every one of these ads you send me, you are wasting valuable campaign dollars. This is especially problematic when, in terms of the last two weeks of an election cycle, you are practically bankrupt.

Here's my question: how on earth could you have pegged me as a swing voter? Nothing about me suggest I might vote for you. In fact, in the past two months, you've shown me that not voting at all would be better than voting for you (perhaps I need to think Bob Barr). Given that the chances of me voting for you are about as high as Sarah Palin being able to do anything worthwhile in her lifetime, I would stop wasting your time.

Short version: the software you use to decide where advertising ought to be targeted is failing you. That, or you're just not using it. In either case, I'd make wiser choices while you still have any shred of a hope left in these next 14 days.

Love always,

Sean

Dear Uber-Religious Chili's Patrons,

Thank you so much for informing me that I need fellowship in my life! It was just any ordinary day, waiting tables at the Chili's, when you came to my rescue. After informing me that your husbands were preachers (and sitting at my 8-top for three hours), you asked if I went to church. Now, most people in my position would have said 'yes,' knowing where the conversation was going. But not I. I decided that I needed the opportunity to be told why I am wrong and why I am going to hell.

So thank you. Thank you for telling me that I need to find God (like, I didn't even know I had misplaced him). Thank you for informing me that I need fellowship and organized religion to avoid eternal damnation. Thank you for educating me on the ways to be saved. If not for you, I'm pretty sure I'd be rotting in the underworld as we speak. Thank you Chili's-goers; customers like you make my day. Your efforts are duly noted and greatly appreciated.

With you in Christ's name,

Sean